#OOPs Concepts in C++ Explained with Examples
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Oops, Concepts in C++ Explained with Examples" is a comprehensive resource provided by Hero Vired that delves into object-oriented programming in C++. This course offers clear explanations and practical examples to help learners understand key concepts such as classes, objects, inheritance, polymorphism, and encapsulation in C++. For More Information, Please Visit The Blog.
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The concept of object oriented programming explained
Object-oriented programming is a fundamental concept present in numerous programming languages such as C++, Java, JavaScript, and more. It becomes straightforward once you truly grasp it, and that's precisely what this post aims to help you achieve. So, stop your scrolling for a second and delve into this post for a thorough and clear explanation.
Understanding the Term "Object-Oriented"
To grasp OOP, let's begin by explaining the name itself: "Object-Oriented." This term signifies that OOP revolves around entities known as "objects."
What Exactly Is an Object?
An object in OOP is any entity that possesses both state and behavior. Consider a dog as an example: it has states such as color, name, and breed, while its behaviors encompass actions like wagging the tail, barking, and eating.
The reason we introduce the concept of objects in programming is to effectively represent real-world entities, a task that cannot be accomplished with conventional variables or arrays.
Classes: Abstract Forms of Objects
Now, what about classes? A class is essentially the abstract form of an object. If we take the example of a "dog," the object "Mydog" is a concrete instance, while the class "dog" represents dogs in a more general sense. Think of a class as a blueprint or template from which you can create individual objects.
Four Pillars of Object-Oriented Programming
Now that we've established the fundamentals of objects and classes. OOP is built upon four key principles:
Inheritance: Inheritance occurs when one object inherits all the properties and behaviors of a parent object. It promotes code reusability and facilitates runtime polymorphism.
Polymorphism: Polymorphism entails performing a single task in multiple ways. For instance, it can involve presenting information differently to customers or implementing different shapes like triangles or rectangles.
Abstraction: Abstraction is about concealing internal details while exposing functionality. Consider a phone call; we don't need to understand the intricate inner workings.
Encapsulation: Encapsulation involves bundling code and data into a single unit. Just like a capsule contains various medicines . In a fully encapsulated class (e.g., a Java bean), all data members are private, ensuring data integrity and controlled access.
I remember finding these images that explained these concepts using the 'Squid Game' series, and they are just perfect. So, I'm sharing them here and giving all credit to their owner :
Polymorphism , Inheritance , Encapsulation
#code#codeblr#css#html#python#studyblr#progblr#programming#comp sci#web design#web developers#web development#website design#webdev#website#tech#html css#learn to code#OOP#object oriented programming
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A while back, I read this thread about media analysis and media literacy and education and Sailor Moon and all sorts of stuff. And I have my own thoughts, but I didn't want to attach them to that thread.
My thoughts focus specifically on why people get those bad attitudes about media analysis, and why high school literature classes so often fail to teach anything. I'm going to bring up two moments which stand out from my own high school lit classes—one epiphany from a world lit class I took in junior year, and one paper I was assigned for my sophomore American lit class.
When reading Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, our teacher brought up the Nietzche's philosophical concept of the Übermensch, which was roughly contemporaneous to Dostoevsky. It was pointed out that Raskolnikov and Svidrigailov were both clear takes on that concept, on the idea of people who could create their own value systems within the moral vacuum that is nihilism. Both Raskolnikov and Svidtrgailov tried to be übermenschen, both used this to justify heinous actions, both were overcome by guilt that even self-proclaimed moral superman cannot resist. For the first time, I saw themes in the text itself, rather than feeling like I had to make the text fit the themes.
Speaking of which, that fucking East of Eden paper, herein abbreviated as "that FEEP". I had to write fifteen pages about East of Eden, about one of a list of themes our teacher handed out to the class. And if that wasn't bad enough, just talking about how the shit Steinbeck wrote about that theme wasn't enough; we had to cite a bunch of literary scholars who talked about what Steinbeck meant by the things he wrote. And some of those scholars were absolute dumbasses; I vividly remember reading one who criticized Steinbeck for saying there were things he hadn't been able to learn about Cathy, even though he invented her...almost as if he had framed his narrative using some kind of device?
Fifteen pages of citing goobers like that to prove that East of Eden is about something our teacher told us it was about. Insufferable. I swore never to touch anything Steinbeck wrote out of pure spite at that FEEP—not at the book, at the paper I had to write about the book.
Aside from my lingering teenaged resentment at a really bad assignment, that FEEP is a perfect crystalization of everything wrong with how our education system (or at least my school district's system) teaches literature. There has to be a right and a wrong answer that you can be graded on; understanding why or how a novel says X is less important than parroting that the novel says X. There's no room for independent interpretations of the text, let alone criticisms of how well this Classic Work Of Literature achieved its goals. A lot of the time, it feels like themes are just thing that literary snobs say are in the text, independent of the text itself.
That FEEP made this worse by focusing so much on citing literary snobs who act like they've never heard of a fucking framing device, but it's embedded into the structure of literature classes. What is East of Eden about? A, B, C, or D? Oops, that's not what the answer key says.
@gotgifsandmusings did more to teach me about what themes are and how they work than any of my English classes, despite that one Crime and Punishment epiphany. For the people in back: A couple of people bitching about Game of Thrones's adaptation (particularly the Sexism & Season 5 series) did more to help me understand literature than twelve years of literature classes. Maybe this kind of thing is easier to explain from a bad example than a good example, or if you have a good example to contrast against a bad example, but it still should not be that hard to compress the essence of nine Tumblr posts into multiple years of classes.
It feels like the literature classes I took in middle/high school were less about helping us understand themes and media analysis and stuff, and more about making sure we learned the True Meaning of Classic Works of Literature. That's the only way I can make sense of that FEEP requiring us to cite scholars who also knew the True Meaning of East of Eden. It's not teaching us how to interpret the themes of a story, it's teaching us what other people said FEE is about.
#essay#media analysis#themes#education#fucking east of eden#fucking Cathy Ames#I'm sure there are parts of my tenth-grade lit class I liked but that FEEP has eclipsed them all
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Master C++ in 2025: Your Complete Programming Journey from Beginner to Pro

Are you ready to level up your programming game in 2025? Whether you're just dipping your toes into coding or already knee-deep in code, C++ remains one of the most powerful languages you can learn. From building operating systems and high-performance games to shaping the very foundations of modern software, C++ is the language that never goes out of style.
But here's the catch—learning C++ from scratch can feel overwhelming if you don’t have the right guide. That’s where this course comes in. If you’re looking for a structured, effective way to learn, this C++ Programming: Beginners to Advanced for Developers course is your one-stop solution.
Let’s break it all down for you—why C++ is still a must-learn in 2025, what you’ll gain from this course, and how it can supercharge your career.
Why C++ Still Matters in 2025
C++ isn’t just another programming language on the list. It's the workhorse of software development. Think of it as the unsung hero that powers video games, flight simulators, embedded systems, and even space missions.
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Data types, loops, arrays, and strings
Functions, pointers, and references
Object-oriented programming (OOP): Classes, inheritance, polymorphism
Templates and STL (Standard Template Library)
File handling and exception management
Advanced topics like lambda functions, smart pointers, and multithreading
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This isn’t a watch-and-forget course. You’ll be coding real C++ programs from day one. Each concept comes with practical examples and exercises that help cement your understanding.
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Here's a peek into what you'll master in this C++ Programming: Beginners to Advanced for Developers course.
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Installing compilers and IDEs
Writing your first "Hello World"
Understanding how C++ differs from other languages
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Variables, constants, and data types
Arithmetic, logical, and bitwise operations
Control flow: if-else, switch, loops
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Declaring and calling functions
Recursion and function overloading
Deep dive into arrays, multidimensional arrays
Pointers and dynamic memory allocation
📌 Module 4: Object-Oriented Programming
Introduction to classes and objects
Constructors, destructors, and access modifiers
Inheritance, polymorphism, abstraction, and encapsulation
📌 Module 5: Advanced Topics
Exception handling
File input/output
Smart pointers (unique, shared, weak)
Lambda expressions and function objects
📌 Module 6: STL – Standard Template Library
Vectors, lists, stacks, queues, maps, and sets
Algorithms and iterators
Building efficient and reusable code
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You’ll apply everything by building a capstone project—something real and impressive to showcase in your portfolio.
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By the end of this C++ journey, you’ll:
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Explain OOP concepts like classes, objects, inheritance, and polymorphism.

Understanding OOP Concepts: Classes, Objects, Inheritance, and Polymorphism Object-Oriented Programming (OOP) is a programming paradigm that organizes code into reusable and modular components, making development more efficient and maintainable.
Here are the fundamental OOP concepts explained:
1. Classes: A class is a blueprint or template for creating objects. It defines the structure and behavior that the objects of the class will have.
A class typically contains attributes (data) and methods (functions). Example:
python
Edit class Car: def __init__(self, make, model):
self.make = make self.model = model def drive(self):
print(f”{self.make} {self.model} is driving!”)
2. Objects: An object is an instance of a class. It represents a real-world entity with specific data and behavior, defined by the class.
Example: python Copy Edit my_car = Car(“Toyota”, “Camry”) my_car.drive() # Output: Toyota Camry is driving!
3. Inheritance: Inheritance allows a class (child class) to inherit the attributes and methods of another class (parent class).
It promotes code reuse and hierarchical organization.
Example:
python
Edit class ElectricCar(Car):
def charge(self): print(f”{self.make} {self.model} is charging!”)
4. Polymorphism: Polymorphism enables objects of different classes to be treated as objects of a common parent class, allowing the same interface to perform different behaviors.
Example: python
Edit class GasCar(Car): def refuel(self):
print(f”{self.make} {self.model} is refueling!”)
my_cars = [ElectricCar(“Tesla”, “Model 3”), GasCar(“Ford”, “Mustang”)]
for car in my_cars: car.drive()
Benefits of OOP: Modularity:
Code is organized into smaller, reusable units.
Scalability: Easier to extend functionality using inheritance and polymorphism.
Maintainability: Changes in one part of the program have minimal impact on others. Understanding these OOP concepts helps developers create robust, flexible, and maintainable software.
They are foundational principles used in most modern programming languages like Python, Java, C++, and more.

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Understanding C++ Basics: Key Terms Explained
C++ is a powerful programming language widely used in various industries, from game development to high-performance applications and even system software. Its versatility, efficiency, and strong control over hardware resources make it a favorite among developers. However, for beginners, the language can seem overwhelming due to its complexity and the numerous terms that are part of its syntax.
In this article, we’ll break down some of the key terms in C++ to help you get a better understanding of the language. By mastering these fundamental concepts, you'll be well on your way to becoming proficient in C++ and opening the door to exciting career opportunities.
If you're eager to learn C++ in a structured way, consider joining the C++ Programming Course at CADL in Mohali, where you'll receive hands-on guidance from industry experts.
1. Variables
In any programming language, variables are used to store data that can be manipulated or retrieved. C++ is no different. In C++, a variable is a name assigned to a memory location that holds a value.
For example:
cpp
Copy code
int number = 5;
Here, int specifies that the variable number is of type integer, and it holds the value 5.
Types of Variables:
int: Holds integer values.
float: Holds decimal values.
char: Holds a single character.
double: Holds larger decimal values.
bool: Stores true or false values.
Understanding how to declare and use variables is one of the first steps to learning C++ programming. As you continue, you'll see how different data types can interact in a program.
2. Data Types
In C++, every variable must have a data type, which determines what kind of data the variable can store. Common data types in C++ include:
int: Used to store integers (whole numbers).
float: Used to store floating-point numbers (numbers with decimal points).
char: Used to store individual characters.
bool: Used to store boolean values (true or false).
string: Although not a built-in type, the C++ Standard Library provides support for storing text strings.
Here’s an example of a simple program with multiple data types:
cpp
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int age = 25;
float salary = 45000.50;
char grade = 'A';
bool isEmployed = true;
Choosing the right data type for your variables is essential, as it helps manage memory efficiently and avoid potential bugs.
3. Functions
Functions are blocks of code designed to perform a specific task. In C++, a function can be called multiple times, making your code more modular and reducing redundancy.
A basic C++ function looks like this:
cpp
Copy code
int addNumbers(int a, int b) {
return a + b;
}
This function addNumbers takes two integer inputs (a and b), adds them, and returns the result. Functions allow you to divide your program into smaller, manageable parts and can be reused throughout the code.
4. Control Structures
Control structures determine the flow of your program based on certain conditions. C++ provides several control structures:
if/else: Used to make decisions in your program.
cpp
Copy code
if (condition) {
// code to be executed if the condition is true
} else {
// code to be executed if the condition is false
}
switch: A control statement that allows a variable to be tested for equality against a list of values.
cpp
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switch(variable) {
case value1:
// code to be executed if variable equals value1
break;
case value2:
// code to be executed if variable equals value2
break;
default:
// code to be executed if variable doesn’t match any case
}
for, while, and do-while loops: These loops are used to execute a block of code repeatedly as long as a condition holds true.
Understanding these structures is vital for making decisions and automating repetitive tasks in your program.
5. Objects and Classes
C++ is an object-oriented programming (OOP) language, meaning it relies heavily on objects and classes. An object is a collection of data and functions that act on that data. A class is the blueprint from which objects are created.
Here’s an example of a simple class:
cpp
Copy code
class Car {
public:
string brand;
string model;
int year;
void honk() {
cout << "Beep beep!" << endl;
}
};
In this class, we have three variables (brand, model, and year), and one function (honk). We can then create objects based on this class:
cpp
Copy code
Car myCar;
myCar.brand = "Toyota";
myCar.model = "Corolla";
myCar.year = 2020;
myCar.honk(); // Output: Beep beep!
OOP allows for the modular and reusable structure of code, making it easier to maintain and extend in the future.
6. Pointers
One of the most unique and powerful features of C++ is pointers. A pointer is a variable that stores the memory address of another variable. Pointers are used in scenarios where direct memory access is needed, such as in dynamic memory allocation or when interacting with hardware.
For example:
cpp
Copy code
int number = 10;
int* ptr = &number;
Here, ptr stores the memory address of number. You can then use this pointer to access or modify the value stored at that memory address.
7. Arrays
Arrays are used to store multiple values of the same type in a single variable, rather than declaring separate variables for each value.
Example:
cpp
Copy code
int numbers[5] = {1, 2, 3, 4, 5};
In this example, numbers is an array that can store five integers. Arrays are essential for handling large data sets efficiently.
8. Standard Template Library (STL)
The Standard Template Library (STL) is a powerful feature of C++ that provides a set of commonly used data structures and algorithms. It includes:
Vectors: A dynamic array that can grow or shrink in size.
Stacks: A container that follows the Last In First Out (LIFO) principle.
Queues: A container that follows the First In First Out (FIFO) principle.
Maps: A collection of key-value pairs.
STL makes C++ programming faster and easier, as you don’t have to write common data structures and algorithms from scratch.
Conclusion
C++ may seem daunting at first with its array of complex terms and concepts, but once you understand these basics, the language becomes much easier to navigate. With its power, versatility, and wide application, mastering C++ can open doors to many opportunities in the programming world.
If you're ready to dive into C++ and gain practical experience, join the C++ Programming Course at CADL in Mohali. Our expert instructors will guide you through each concept with real-world examples, helping you become proficient in C++ and ready to take on challenging projects.
Start your C++ journey today and build a solid foundation for your programming career!
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Polymorphism in C#: Explained with Real-World Examples
One fundamental concept within the realm of object-oriented programming (OOP) is polymorphism, a concept that empowers the treatment of objects from different classes as if they were objects of a common base class. This capability fosters the creation of adaptable and reusable code. This blog post is dedicated to exploring the concept of polymorphism in C# and illustrating its functionality through real-world examples...
Learn more here:
https://www.nilebits.com/blog/2023/10/polymorphism-in-c-explained-with-real-world-examples/
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Why We Use Oops Concept in Python Programming
Python is a powerful, high-level, and widely used programming language. We may create apps utilising an Object-Oriented methodology thanks to it. Classes and objects are simple to build and utilise in Python. By doing so, it concentrates on creating reusable code. Making things is a common approach to issue-solving. All cutting-edge software development, machine learning applications, and web development employ the most recent Python 3 version. It is a good toolkit for both new and seasoned programmers who are familiar with languages like C++ and Java. In essence, Python is not a fully object-oriented programming language like Java or some other ones. This means that Python has dependable, concise syntax and provides the oops notion with or without any issues. It also provides the following benefits to the coder.
Easy to Learn & Code
Free and High-Level Language
Portable
Large Collection of Packages and Modules
Why the object-oriented (oops) concept?
Then why do we need Oops in Python when everything is working properly? After all, as we all know, oops (object-oriented programming) also offers some advantages to programming languages like:
Modularity for simpler problem-solving
Reusing code by inheriting it
Adaptability via polymorphism
Successful problem-solving, etc.
These ideas elevate Python to a more distinctive, well-known, and contemporary language. Let's begin an in-depth study of how Python's Oops pillars function. Check out the Python course online to learn more about the Oops concept.
Oops Concept
Python is a great programming language that supports Object-Oriented Programming systems and is called OOPS.
Class
Objects
Encapsulation
Inheritance
Polymorphism
Abstraction
Python Class
A class is a group of related items. The models or prototypes used to generate objects are included in classes. It is a logical entity with a few methods and characteristics.
Let's use an example to help you understand why classes are necessary. Suppose you wanted to keep track of the number of dogs that might have diverse characteristics like breed and age. If a list is utilised, the dog's breed and age might be the first and second elements, respectively. What if there were 100 different breeds of dogs? How would you know which ingredient should go where? What if you wanted to give these dogs additional traits? This is disorganised and just what classes need.
Some points on Python class:
The term class is used to create classes.
The variables that make up a class are known as attributes.
With the dot (.) operator, attributes can always be retrieved and are always public. For example: Myclass.Myattribute
Objects in Python
The object is an entity that is connected to a state and activity. Any physical device, such as a mouse, keyboard, chair, table, pen, etc., may be used. Arrays, dictionaries, strings, floating-point numbers, and even integers are all examples of objects. Any single string or integer, more specifically, is an object. A list is an object that may house other things, the number 12 is an object, the text "Hello, world" is an object, and so on. You may not even be aware of the fact that you have been using items.
An object includes:
State: An object's properties serve as a representation of it. Additionally, it reflects an object's characteristics.
Behaviour: The methods of an object serve as a representation of behaviour. It also shows how one object reacts to other objects.
Identity: It gives a thing a special name and makes it possible for one object to communicate with another.
Let's use the example of the class dog (described above) to better grasp the state, behaviour, and identity.
The identity may be regarded as the dog's name.
Breed, age, and colour of the dog are examples of states or attributes.
You may infer from the behaviour whether the dog is eating or sleeping.
Encapsulation
It explains the concept of data wrapping and the techniques that operate on data as a single unit. This restricts direct access to variables and procedures and can avoid data alteration by accident. A variable can only be altered by an object's method in order to prevent inadvertent modification. These variables fall under the category of private variables.
A class, which encapsulates all the data that is contained in its member functions, variables, etc., is an example of encapsulation.
Inheritance
One class's ability to derive or inherit properties from another class is known as inheritance.
The advantages of inheritance include:
It accurately depicts relationships in the real world.
It offers a code's reusability. We don't need to keep writing the same code. It enables us to expand a class's functionalities without changing the class itself.
Because it is transitive, if class B inherits from additional class A, all of class B's subclasses will also automatically inherit from class A.
Types of Inheritance
Single Inheritance: A derived class may take traits from a single-parent class through single-level inheritance.
Multi-level Inheritance: A derived class can inherit properties from an immediate parent class, which in turn inherits properties from his or her parent class.
Hierarchical Inheritance: More than one derived class can inherit properties from a parent class thanks to hierarchical-level inheritance.
Multiple Inheritances: A derived class can inherit properties from multiple base classes thanks to multiple-level inheritance.
Abstraction
Abstraction is used to conceal from users the internal workings of a function. Users can only interact with the function's fundamental implementation; its secret inner workings. Although the user is aware of "what function does," they are unaware of "how it does."
Polymorphism
Polymorphism refers to the existence of various forms. Polymorphism in programming refers to the usage of various types with different signatures for the same function.
Conclusion
If you are a Python programmer, you can learn more about the OOPS concept by checking out the online Python course.
Tags: #onlinecertificatepython #bestpythononlinetraining #Toptenonlinetrainingpython #PythonCourseOnline #PythonCertificationCourse
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plEASE keep talking about cutie pie
LMAO okay then I'm gonna say what might be my most controversial~~ opinion about Cutie Pie and that's that I didn't find Kuea THAT childish, oop
Like, okay listen, Kuea is immature I won't say he's not, he's not great at communication, he can be a bit impulsive but these aren't inherently child like traits they're character flaws.
So like, there's a trope called Born Sexy Yesterday I feel is a bit relevant here. Watch the essay I don't agree with every example it gives (Chobits doesn't fit the trope at all imo) but it breaks down this particular trope of a character - typically a female char - who is essentially super power and perfect but with the mind of a child. She's also sexy. Always. These chars as typically naïve, their mannerisms are whimsical, naïve, innocent, inexperience with the world (especially romantic relationships), they typically need the male lead to explain things to them, watch out for them, etc. The entire concept is a relationship trope that fetishizes the concept of virginity and innocence. These characters don't have a lot of traits outside of their innocence, and overall childlike wonderment for the world and needs the male lead to "teach" them about the world.
A recent Kdrama example of this is Legend of the Blue Sea, a kdrama that came out in 2016 (I said before Cutie Pie is heavily influenced by kdramas, and honestly Domandi shows in general seem heavily influenced by kdramas) used this trope a bit as well. There's a specific scene in the earlier episodes where the mermaid character, lost, alone, can't communicate with the male lead (her love interest) or other people, gets lost in a mall and ends up in the section for lost children. This scene stuck with me b/c I find it so annoying lol like the show couldn't have emphasized she's childlike any harder than putting her in the literal children's lost and found section of the mall, and stealing a big lollipop from another child. And the male lead is charmed by all of this!
So in comparison to all of that~~ no I don't find Kuea especially child like. He's not at all like Shim Cheong (Legend of the Blue Sea), Ji Eun-tak (Guardian), LeeLoo (Fifth Element), or Madison (Splash) just to name a few of these characters.
Being immature=/=child like, I accounted Kuea's immaturity to him being 21, same with his being impulsive. But unlike say, LeeLoo, Kuea has motivations of his own. He has character flaws, but also character strengths, he's a fully realized character and Lian isn't like, into~~ the fact that Kuea doesn't know how to cook. It's not a turn on for him like it is for Dallas to be able to "teach" LeeLoo about the world.
Idk like I read a take once that called Kuea a "child bride" and like, no? No that's not what happened in canon at all. That's such cold ass takeout I wanna send it back like that is just as bad as ppl saying Ariel gave up her legs/body for a man. That's not what happens in the text of the story. Also please learn what the term "child bride" means I beg.
So yeah, I didn't find Kuea, upon rewatch, that child like - childish? hm, at times I guess, but Yi was also really childish at times too and also couldn't cook worth a damn but I never saw anyone calling him a child bride lol - and that's my hot take on the matter.
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tastes like cherry
w/c: 2.7k
warnings: swearing, hints of cheating, and suggestive themes
summary: peter is into you, but you’re into mj... and peter
a/n: i love this concept even tho it’s unhealthy? let’s take it as a cautionary tale :D also this is my last full oneshot of the year!! i’ll do something quick tomorrow tho
━━━ ➳❥
“sorry, peter. i’m already going with mj.”
you shut your locker, revealing an oddly unphased peter behind it. he doesn’t understand what you mean.
the two of you make your way through the hall. you’re about to head some so you can get ready for liz’s party later. she told you about it first since you’re good friends. you asked mj to come this morning, which was liz’s idea. she’s been trying to set you two up for a while.
“ok, that’s fine. i’m sure she’ll understand if you-“ you cut him off before he gets too excited. “like, as a couple. she’s my date.” peter’s face falls.
you and mj? no offense to her, but he could never see you liking someone so... dry. he’s always pictured bubbly and sweet people to be more your speed. himself, for example.
“that’s,” peter clears his throat. “that’s cool.” you smile to yourself, thinking about spending the night with mj. he’s thinking about how he can show his support without sounding jealous. “since when did you, um, have a thing for her?” “i don’t know. liz helped me realize, honestly,” you nudge his arm.
“maybe you can hang out with her tonight.” peter turns to look at you like you’ve said the most insane thing ever. you’re already looking at him. it brings a blush to his cheeks, which you take as him liking her. you smirk and stop when you get to the doors.
“i... i don’t think that’s a good idea,” he decides with a nervous smile. “think about it more. see you later.” you push open one of the doors and skip outside. you’re already gone when he responds. “yeah, see you.”
he needs to come up with a plan, fast.
-
“dude, that’s rough,” ned can’t hold back a laugh at the story. peter is at his place, the two of them about to leave for the party. he told him what happened earlier in hopes of getting a second opinion. if he’d known ned would react like this, he would’ve kept it to himself.
“this isn’t funny, ned. i need help,” peter almost whines, flopping back on ned’s bed. ned is fixing his hair last minute. “i’m sorry, bro, but i don’t think y/n likes you that way,” he says sympathetically this time. peter sits up again. they both make eye contact in the mirror. “how do you know that?” “uh, she rejected you?”
puffing some air out of his cheeks, peter watches ned run a comb through his hair. the silence gives him time to reflect on your conversation. he suddenly remembers a key part of it.
“she only said no because she’s taking mj,” peter repeats, ned squinting at his friend’s reflection. “not because she doesn’t like me.” ned puts the comb down, satisfied with his look. he sighs and faces peter again. “it’s too late, dude. try again some other time.”
peter disregards everything he said and keeps plotting. he snaps when an idea comes to him. “all i have to do is get y/n alone for a while.” he looks up at ned with hopeful eyes. that can’t be good.
ned doesn’t approve of messing with your love life. he wishes peter could be just happy for you and move on. that being said, he is supposed to be peter’s wingman. he’d be a pretty terrible one by saying no to whatever he’s about to ask. he mentally apologizes to you before giving in.
“what am i gonna do?”
“can you distract mj for me?”
-
kids are still piling in when peter and ned arrive. they follow the line of people leading the way. it’s easy to forget how popular liz is because she does academic decathlon with all of you, the most uncool club midtown has to offer. this puts it in perspective.
liz is greeting people at the door. another reason she’s not your stereotypical popular girl is that she’s actually nice.
peter heads in first, ned behind him. her face lights up the second they step inside.
“what took you so long?” she playfully questions the two of them. “ned’s hair,” peter answers, earning a laugh from her. ned elbows his side. “it looks great, ned,” liz compliments him and winks at peter. “oh, thank you.” he tries to act humble about it by running a hand through the style.
peter peers over liz’s head to see if he can find you. he’d have to stand on his tiptoes to really make progress, so that’s done. liz still picks up on it.
“looking for someone?” she raises an eyebrow at him. ned shifts from one foot to the other uncomfortably. “um, do you know where y/n is?” peter clenches his jaw. “in the kitchen with mj. she told me you might wanna hang out tonight.” she’s sort of studying his face, widening her eyes. he averts his own to his feet.
“i should really find her. i’ll... i’ll catch up with you later.” his lips press into a forced smile. “come on, ned.” the two of them set off for the kitchen. ned tells her goodbye and follows peter, leaving liz standing there shocked.
“you could’ve been a little nicer, dude,” ned concludes from the encounter. they’re on their way to the kitchen. peter shrugs his shoulders with both eyebrows furrowed. “i wasn’t mean, though. i’m just, you know, busy.” “so is y/n.”
you’re laughing about something mj said, your arms tightening around her waist from behind. one of your hands has a drink in it. the other searches for hers. she laces your fingers together and rolls her eyes, probably calling you a dork. it’s in a loving way, unlike when she uses the same nickname on peter.
ned might be right. it seems like you’re having a really good time. who is peter to take that away from you? he’d rather you be snuggling up to him than mj, but what matters beyond anything is that you’re enjoying yourself. he should listen to you and spend some time with liz. she’s at least interested in him.
he completely changes his mind when your lips brush mj’s cheek. back to his plan.
“you’re here!” you announce as peter and ned enter the kitchen. mj nods her head at them. “thing one. thing two,” she greets, holding out her free hand to fistbump ned. “hey.” peter grins at you, then gives mj a slightly smaller one. she notices. he sticks his hands in his pockets.
“did you say hi to liz?” you check with your eyebrows raised in anticipation. ned answers for peter, who bites down on his lip. “they’re gonna hang out later.” mj snorts at the idea. “why would she ever wanna do that?” “because i told her to,” you sigh and glance at peter. he’s so stiff.
“and why would you do that?” mj deadpans, looking peter over. he glares back. he hates being talked about like he’s not there. ned forces out a laugh to clear some of the tension between them. you don’t realize any of this is happening.
“i mean, she set me up with you. i wanted to return the favor,” you explain and rest your chin on mj’s shoulder. her face softens. she tilts her head back to look at you with a smile. “aw,” ned coos and draws a heart around you two with his fingers.
he’s secretly rooting for you and mj.
peter points at the snack table, his eyes going from mj to you. “i’m gonna... get a drink.” “ooh, fun. i picked them out,” you beam at him. mj pulls you closer to her before he comes over. she’s not happy with the way he keeps looking at you. you’re not completely oblivious to it either. you just don’t know what to think of it.
you pick up your cup to take a sip of soda. peter has to pass by you to get his own. right as you bring yours to your lips, peter ‘accidentally’ knocks into you. the drink spills down the side of your dress. this is all part of his plan. you squeal and step away from mj.
mj hits peter’s arm with the back of her hand. “idiot. look what you did to my date.” she only refers to you as her date so he’ll take the hint and back off. he ignores her and tends to you instead, a frown on his lips.
“i’m so sorry, y/n. i didn’t mean to-“ “it’s fine. ned, can you hand me a napkin?” you do your best not to let your frustration show.
he goes to get one off the counter. peter turns to him and mouthes ‘don’t’ before he gets the chance. ned mouthes ‘why not?’ back. peter says ‘because i said so.’ their silent conversation doesn’t go unnoticed by mj. she huffs and pushes past peter. “what the fuck, i’ll get it.”
peter gives him a look that says to do something. panicking, ned pushes the stack of napkins onto the floor. they all end up scattered around.
everyone waits for him to address it. “oops,” he chokes out. “you’re both idiots,” mj grumbles, getting onto the floor to pick them up. this should keep her distracted for a while. things are falling into place.
“i’m gonna see if i can borrow something from liz,” you tell the three of them in an exhale. peter rushes to your side. “do you need help with your dress?”
not sure what to say, you look over at mj. her and ned are busy cleaning up. she probably won’t mind. “this is my fault. i feel bad,” peter continues on.
you leave your empty cup on the snack table and nod. “come with me.”
-
you bring peter up to liz’s room and shut the door behind you. he has to bite back a smile while you search through her drawers for new clothes. sorry to liz, looks like the two of you are spending the night together now.
your change of clothes ends up on the bed. it’s only a t-shirt and jeans. you’re actually kind of bummed about your dress because you bought it specifically for tonight. not that mj would ever care what you wear, but you felt like dressing up. a few compliments from her wouldn’t hurt, though. she’s not the best in that area.
“can you unzip me?” you ask peter, eyeing him over your shoulder. he’s quick to come up behind you. he puts a hand on your lower back. his other slowly tugs the zipper down. “this is cute,” he murmurs, swiping his thumb over the material of your dress. the feeling and his words give you goosebumps.
“sorry i kind of ruined it.” “are you?” you’re only teasing. peter answers seriously, his voice lower than usual. “no.” you take a step forward when he finishes with the zipper. “it did feel pretty staged to me. you’re not that clumsy.” there’s emphasis on ‘that.’ he hums in a rather suggestive way. you face him again.
the back of your dress gets left open. peter’s eyes trail down your body, his hands not quite leaving it yet.
you’ve always seen him as this harmless, infinitely nice guy. he’s almost too nice for you. it’s why you never considered him as more than a friend. mj has an edge to her, and you like that. peter might have an edge, too.
this new side of him is starting to make you rethink his spot in the friend zone. you feel like you might be rushing into things with mj. should you really have taken liz’s advice? or, should you have came with peter?
“why’d you do it?” your gaze shifts down to his lips. he moves closer to you. that inspires you to take another step back. “i had to get you away from mj.” “she’s my date,” you say unconvincingly and keep walking backwards. peter follows until you end up against the wall.
it’s the perfect spot for him to corner you in. so, he does.
his arms are on either side of the wall behind you. he leans his head down. your faces are dangerously close to each other. your mouths are dangerously close to each other, too.
“you’re... you’re supposed to be with liz,” you breathe out. peter brings a hand up to caress your cheek. “she probably has better things to do.”
it’s almost impossible not to give in to his touch. his fingers run over your skin gently, contradicting the intense way his eyes stare into yours. you lean your cheek in the palm of his hand. you’re still having doubts.
“well, i’m supposed to be with mj,” you try to remind the both of you.
peter considers it for a moment. you two definitely shouldn’t be doing this. the selfish side of his brain takes over then. it’s not like you and mj made it official yet.
“supposed to be doesn’t mean you want to,” he rasps, his thumb moving down to your lower lip. he runs it across. you watch him with hooded eyes. as much as you crave his lips on yours, it wouldn’t be fair to mj. you care about them both.
“what if she’s looking for me?” your voice is just above a whisper. “ned has it covered,” he reassures you. “we’re okay.” we. you really like the way that sounds.
you’re not sure what’s going on with your head or your heart right now. all you know is that you want, no, need peter to kiss you. you’d never forgive yourself if you let the chance pass you by.
“you thought of everything,” you remark, winding one of your arms around his neck. peter’s breath fans over your face. he grabs your waist, you pushing your body flush against his. there isn’t an inch of space between you two. “because i like you, y/n.”
“i like you, too,” you finally admit to yourself and peter. your lips are so close to his they’re ghosting. “but, i also like mj.” his fingers press into your side. “can we worry about that after we kiss?” a grin crosses your face. “good idea.”
peter lets his lips land properly on yours, both of you melting into the kiss. this already feels so right even though it isn’t. he sighs in content and drops a hand down to your hip. you use your hand on his neck to deepen the kiss, your head against the wall.
he pulls you up by your hips, signaling for you to jump. your legs wrap around his middle while he snakes his around your waist again. he’s easily holding you while his lips attack yours.
“shit, you’re so strong,” you giggle into his mouth, an airy laugh escaping him. “think so?” peter kisses over to your cheek. one of your dress straps falls down your shoulder. you leave it. his lips kiss their way back to yours, getting messier with each one. you give him a lazy smile. he pecks your lips one more time, softly.
“you taste like cherry,” peter mumbles, now moving down to your chin. it’s shiny from where your lip gloss smeared. “cherry coke. the one you spilled on me,” you explain with a scoff. he keeps kissing down the center of your neck, his fingers tugging at the end of your dress.
“wonder what else tastes like cherry.” he’s half joking and half serious. actually, more serious. you gasp and tilt your head to the side more. you can feel him smirking while his lips dance across your skin. “peter, i can’t believe you of all people would say that.” “i’m full of surprises,” he hums, sucking a little too hard on one spot.
it’s hot having him take control like this, but this isn’t the time or place for a hickey.
“wait, i don’t want mj to see.” that’s the least of your problems. still, it’s a very big one. it comes right after choosing between which one of your friends you like more. you’re so screwed.
“alright. let’s do something else,” peter suggests, tightening his grip around your waist. he carries you over to liz’s bed. you giggle into his ear and throw your other arm around his neck. he drops you right next to your change of clothes, which you forgot about. they’re the whole reason you’re up here.
there’s a lot to unpack in this situation. you’re in your best friend’s room making out with her crush, while your sort of girlfriend has no fucking clue where you went.
good thing peter and his kisses are here to distract you from it all.
#tom holland#tom holland smut#tom holland fluff#tom holland imagine#tom holland fic#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker smut#peter parker fluff#peter parker fic#marvel#spiderman#michelle jones x reader#michelle jones#tom holland x reader
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This is probably a bad idea, but...
So @luna-rainbow has been posting quite a bit about the portrayal of racism in TFATWS and how it's difficult for non-Americans to understand why Sam didn't want the shield and why he didn't just explain his thinking to Bucky. I replied that I wanted to try and tackle that question, so here we go.
BIG DISCLAIMER: I am a white, middle-aged, cis woman living in the northeastern USA, so I am really in no way the proper spokesperson for this topic. I'm not going to put forth my views as truth, but instead try to explain why I think Sam was so ambivalent and why Bucky just didn't get it (and probably still doesn't even if the writers gave him a small epiphany in the penultimate episode).
Everyone knows that the US was built on the bleeding backs of Black slaves. There is no rational way to dispute this disgusting fact, but the white people who have been in power in this country since forever have done such a good job of normalizing and minimizing the ramifications of that fact that many Americans just go through their lives and never, ever, consider it. Schools teach history, but it's often sanitized and presented in a very "Oops, our bad, sorry y'all" manner that makes young students feel like it was Very Very Long Ago and Over Now. I'm a high school teacher (of literature, not history, but they're intertwined) in a school where I know my colleagues in the Hx Dept are teaching racism as a living, breathing, hideously present concept, and I still have kids tell me every day that "America isn't like that now" as if examples of racial bias and systemic oppression aren't all around them.
In my mostly white district, the few Black kids don't speak up in these discussions, and lord, I do not blame them one bit. For one, they are tired. Tired of being oppressed, tired of talking about it, tired of trying to make other people see their lives and their struggles. Second, no one wants to be the Poster Child and have to bear the ignorance and intrusive interest of their peers. I imagine Sam feels similarly, and that's why he just never gets into it with Bucky. Sam is an optimistic and positive-thinking guy, and probably wants to talk about a million other topics before he wants to educate a 106-year-old white dude about the Black American Experience, and that's his damn right, good for him.
Said 106-year-old, by the way, has literally no concept of what being Black in America means. Luna-rainbow likened him to an immigrant in his own country, and there's some merit to that, especially considering the bulk of his conditioning as the Winter Soldier was at the hands of our Cold War enemies who were invested in making Bucky see America as an enemy. But mostly, the problem is that Bucky was asleep or absent from normal life during one of the most racially tumultuous times of our history. Now, the man lived in NYC, one of the most diverse cities in the USA, and seems relatively chill for having grown up in Ye Olden Times. But he likely hasn't studied the Civil Rights Movement, and how the Whites In Charge panic-reacted to the idea of other people having basic human rights with a coordinated and systemic effort to stop that shit in its tracks while appearing to bow to the social zeitgeist. Jim Crow, Confederate statutes, voter oppression, gerrymandering, redlining -- all the things that the United States Government did (and still does) to keep those BIPOC in their proper place and whites in power -- are often big news to modern people, so of course Bucky wouldn't get it.
He wouldn't intrinsically understand that The Shield represents a government that did its GD best to keep Black people poor, ignorant, and powerless while at the same time pretending to advance them and congratulating itself on how well it tied justice into knots and r*ped that blindfolded bitch holding the scales. He wouldn't know that Sam struggles with how to best embody his hope for the country he loves while also acknowledging that his country doesn't really love him all that much. How conflicted he must be as a veteran who fights for freedom while knowing he's not free to be treated with the dignity and respect everyone deserves. That Shield is government property, Sam is told many times, and to take it up means being the face and mouthpiece of a government that does not look, act, or experience life the way he does. A government that doesn't want him to gain power and will do basically anything to keep him down while all the while denying that they're doing any such thing. Captain America may visibly punch out Nazis, but is he punching out Karens? Or racist cops? Or racist teachers? "A complicated legacy," indeed.
So yeah, there's no way Bucky could know why Sam refused the shield and Bucky took it personally, as a rejection of Steve Rogers himself. And maybe to explain that would have forced Bucky to confront that while he is still Steve's Best Sidekick(TM), Steve abandoned him to this crazy future of alien invasions and divisive politics and tiger selfies and Bucky really just cannot deal. So he just gets pissy about it.
And Sam, for his part, was not going to unpack 70 years of American history and racism because that shit is tiring, especially when he's literally living in it right the f now. So he gets rightfully pissy about Bucky's inability to let it go.
And TFATWS writers go traipsing into the sunset congratulating themselves on the buddy cop story they pounded out that has all the buzzwords and the right tone for our post(?)-BLM times without ever once delving as deep into the story as the topic deserves. And people are confused and disappointed and don't really know why. But the truth is that 200+ years of history and oppression are not easily condensed into a 6-hour superhero TV show, and maybe the writers should have given some damn thought to how much they could realistically convey with sophistication and sensitivity instead of trying to have it all. Because we deserved better, not just as fans, but as critical viewers. (On the other hand, hooray for some people having these discussions instead of just saying BuT it'S JuST FiCTioN LiGhTen UP. Because it is never "just fiction," it is a reflection of our lives and has weight as such.)
Thanks for coming to my long-winded TED Talk, please don't send me hate mail. I'm already having a panic attack at having posted this.
#fandom dissertation#marvel meta#tfatws#I'm shaking with nerves at having posted this#at least I'm not high this time#so maybe it's coherent#idk idk
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It is often said that chivalry is dead, but why is that so and who is mourning? A recent article lamenting the rarity of the gentleman within the millennial male populace would seem to provide something of an answer to that question. The author of the piece, Hope Rodriguez, contends that millennial men are severely lacking in gentlemanly traits, and explains to us why they should “man up” and correct these errors.
1. Elevator etiquette I don’t care how big of a hurry you’re in, or how slow she may walk, if there is a female or five on the elevator with you, you hold your arm in the door and let them off first.
2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T (sing it to the tune of Aretha Franklin) If a female walks past you, for God’s sake, do not turn your head and stare at her behind. If she is talking to you, don’t stare down her shirt. If you’re driving down the road, don’t honk or yell “hey sexy!!!!” Gross. Undressing a girl with your eyes is one of the most disgusting and degrading things you could possibly do to her. Don’t worry about getting a date, you’ve already ruined it by being a pig.
3. Give up your seat. Whether she is old, young, pregnant, active, fat, skinny, whatever; if the bus, classroom, etc. is full, get up from your chair and offer your seat to a female who is standing. If you chose to stay in your seat and force ladies to remain standing, make sure you remember to take off your maxi pad on the way out. (oops, did I just say that?!)
4. Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for females We are automatic targets everywhere we go, especially at night. I don’t need to get into the subject of rape. Walk your female coworkers to their cars at night. Just watch out for the women around you, they’ll definitely appreciate it.
5. Be polite. Compliment a lady today. They aren’t going to automatically assume that you want to have babies with them just because you said they look nice today. You would be surprised by what can make a woman smile. Little things, men. Little things.
6. Hold the door. If we are pretty far behind, we don’t expect you to hold the door open for us. It makes us feel like we need to hurry to the door. However, if there is a woman walking behind you or relatively close behind you, do NOT let a door shut on her.
7. Driveway etiquette My son will know that he will NOT drive up to a female’s house and honk the horn or shoot her a text that says “I’m here, come get in the car.” If a guy comes to pick my future daughter up for a date, and he honks the horn or texts her to pick her up, I’m going to walk outside and tell him to go home. Walk up to the door, knock on the door, and then walk her to your car. At the end of the night, walk her back to her door. I don’t care if you’re just friends or you’re married. It’s what you’re supposed to do.
Guys: man up. Bring back gentlemanly behaviors. It would definitely be appreciated.
Unfortunately for this author, her requests are simply incompatible with the notions of gender equality that our society has embraced wholeheartedly and integrated aggressively into its legal and social order.
For example, the modern man on an elevator with women has been raised and conditioned to respect those women as his equals. Equals do not receive special consideration over other equals on the basis of gender or any other marker. Equals are treated… equally. Providing the benefit of this etiquette to women simply because they are women would fundamentally contradict notions of equality that we’re heavily invested in as a society. A man who truly believes in equality and all of the values that it represents is going to practice that elevator etiquette with everyone he meets regardless of gender. He will be polite to everyone. He will respect everyone. He will practice driveway etiquette with everyone, and he will hold the door or give up a seat for anyone who actually needs it. He will not engage in these behaviors selectively on the basis of gender because he has been taught not to discriminate in that way.

A few of Ms. Rodriguez’s other statements betray outright ignorance, naiveté or both. Take these, for example:
…Walk your female coworkers to their cars at night…
… Compliment a lady today. They aren’t going to automatically assume that you want to have babies with them just because you said they look nice today…
The first statement sounds like an excellent way to invite a sexual harassment suit or attract potential discipline for violations of workplace conduct. Your typical corporate millennial females are unlikely to tolerate this unsolicited “escort” on the part of their male coworkers, much less appreciate it. Unless they have already been deemed attractive by these females (most men won’t be in this category), the men attempting to provide this escort will be labeled “creepy” at best, and accused of stalking at worst. No good can come of this.
The second just sounds naive: any man who has interacted with modern millennial females for any period of time will understand that many of them will jump to precisely that conclusion, and will also sometimes react negatively upon doing so. Hope Rodriguez is not a man and so could possibly be forgiven for not understanding these things at the outset, but she needs to change that if she hopes to have any advice she writes for men taken seriously.
That brings me to my next point: Ms. Rodriguez seems not to grasp the true nature of the chivalrous ideals she yearns for or the environment in which she currently lives. The concept of chivalry required men to be perfect gentlemen in their conduct, but said behavior was not intended for every female they met. It was more specifically designed to govern male conduct with ladies. Chivalrous codes of conduct required a gentleman to execute them, and a lady to receive them..

Ladies had their own rules to follow, and it was only through the adherence to those rules that they could qualify for the receipt of chivalry from a gentleman. Chivalric codes of conduct traveled on a two way street: the gentleman cannot exist without the lady, and vice-versa. Both genders were required to adhere to certain standards in order to engage in the chivalric exchange. The gentleman and the lady are like the yin and the yang.
Ms. Rodriguez is probably right to note that an ideal chivalrous gentleman would be more measured and restrained in his observation of an attractive female that he had not yet been acquainted with. He probably wouldn’t be too forward with her to begin with, and would remain exceedingly polite during his first interactions with her while avoiding overt sexualization.
In order to get that treatment, however, a woman would need to be the ideal lady. Ladies in the age of chivalry were modest in their conduct. They were not particularly sexually suggestive in their speech, dress or dance, and this made it relatively easy for a gentleman to approach and engage them in a more polite, less overtly sexual manner.
Most modern millennial women do not adhere to the codes of conduct inherent to the lady. Their dress is often highly sexually suggestive, designed to invite overtly sexual approaches and draw the very suggestive gazes that Ms. Rodriguez scolds millennial men for wielding. Their dance is often even more sexually suggestive, roughly approximating the act of intercourse itself.
Modern millenial females express their sexuality more openly and freely than any lady of a bygone age would have been expected to. A lady expecting to keep that label and thus benefit from the chivalrous conduct of a gentleman could not engage freely and openly in casual sexual relationships with multiple men while unmarried. She could not engage in simulated sex on dance floors with men she didn’t even know well (or even men she did know somewhat well). She could not walk around in clothing designed specifically to expose and draw attention to the more sexually alluring portions of her body. The modern woman can do all of this, however, and very often does. Why?

Because she wants to, and that’s alright. Women have spent generations fighting for the ability to remove social limitations on their sexuality, and they now enjoy the fruits of that effort. Don’t get anything twisted here: I have no problem with this and neither do most millennial men. Women are free to dress as they like, dance as they like and fuck as they like. I’m certainly not going to stop them, but there’s a price to pay for all of this.
As noted before, the gentleman and the lady come together. One cannot exist without the other—the code of chivalry was designed with this understanding in mind, and it dealt with that understanding by creating standards of conduct for each gender seeking to participate in the chivalric exchange. When we freed women from the obligation to adhere to those standards of conduct, we necessarily freed men as well.

How can we change this and bring back the missing gentleman Ms. Rodriguez so desperately desires to interact with? Well, gentlemen require ladies. If you want more gentlemen in the traditional sense, you’ll need to create more ladies in the traditional sense, and that would require a re-imposition of the same social and legal restrictions on female sexuality and expression that women have fought so hard to eliminate during the last few generations. There would need to be a rescission of the legal progress females in our society have made toward true equality.
To further illustrate just why this is, consider the way in Ms. Rodriguez’s suggestion that men give up seats and hold doors (among other preferential and somewhat deferential things) specifically for women solely because they are women. Such behavior was once common, but why was this?

Because women were seen as the weaker sex. This notion of the inherently “weak” female governed the discriminatory legal and social landscape in which the code of chivalry was born and practiced. Men did all they did for women because of the implicit understanding in society that women, by virtue of their being women, were not equal to them. They were weaker and needed assistance and men, by virtue of their being men, were stronger and therefore obligated to provide that assistance.
Men are no longer behaving this way because they have been raised to understand that their female counterparts are not weak, but strong. They’re not dependent, but independent. They’re not inferiors, they’re equals. Our modern legal system takes these statements as fundamental, unassailable truths and uses the force of law to ensure that they are treated accordingly. This will, in turn, prevent men from doing many of the things Ms. Rodriguez would like them to, as they have become increasingly unable to see women as their true inferiors.

If Ms. Rodriguez wants the chivalric code to make its way back into the mainstream, she’ll need to bring back the old view on gender relations that gave rise to it. Modern notions of gender equality will need to go out the window.
That is unlikely to happen, however. For all of her yearning for the “chivalry” of yesteryear, I doubt that Hope Rodriguez or any other modern woman would like to see the return of the social mores necessary to sustain it. Millennial women live in what is undoubtedly the best time to be a female in the history of humanity. At no point in human history have women been as wealthy, as free, as respected and as influential as they are today. The return of te social norms necessary to sustain chivalry in the traditional sense could only inhibit their enjoyment of all that, and they know it. Women have made their voices heard loudly and clearly: they will not tolerate this.
Hope Rodriguez seems like a nice girl and I’m sure she’ll find a man to treat her well sometime soon (if she hasn’t already), but she’ll not succeed in bringing back the ways of a bygone age. Chivalry is dead and, at the end of the day, that’s just the way that most millennial women want it.
https://www.returnofkings.com/28660/the-concept-of-chivalry-has-been-distorted-to-create-subservient-men
From Wikipedia:
Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is the traditional code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood… It was originally conceived of as an aristocratic warrior code… involving gallantry, individual training, and service to others. Over time its meaning has been refined to emphasise more ideals such as the knightly virtues of honour, courtly love, courtesy, and less martial aspects of the tradition.
The term “martial” here, of course, means relating to war: the code was originally meant to guide medieval warriors– not peasants, aristocrats, or even lords. And certainly not modern day men, living in the world we do today.
This fact alone sheds light on why the code has changed over time. Warriors slashing each other with swords simply don’t exist today. Yet chivalry has stuck around. So has its meaning been refined? Or completely distorted? Let’s take a look at its conception.

The first noted support for chivalric vocation, or the establishment of knightly class to ensure the sanctity and legitimacy of Christianity was written in 930 by Odo, abbot of Cluny in the Vita of St. Gerald of Aurillac.
This passage sheds more light on its intended purpose. The knights, and their chivalric code were meant “to ensure the sanctity and legitimacy of Christianity.” Take fearless warriors like these knights, put them in wartime scenarios, and what do you get? Things like rape and pillaging come to mind, and are commonplace in wars even to this day. Chivalry was meant to ensure that the Christian values that these knights were supposedly fighting for were observed, even in battle.
But as time went on, the application of this code began to encompass more areas of a warrior’s life. Below are the three fronts that chivalry embodied as the middle ages went on:
1. Duties to countrymen and fellow Christians: this contains virtues such as mercy, courage, valor, fairness, protection of the weak and the poor, and in the servant-hood of the knight to his lord. 2. Duties to God: this would contain being faithful to God, protecting the innocent, being faithful to the church, being the champion of good against evil, being generous and obeying God above the feudal lord. 3. Duties to women: this would contain what is often called courtly love, the idea that the knight is to serve a lady, and after her all other ladies.
The first two areas mentioned here represent the origins of the code. Knights were to uphold the Christian values of mercy, courage, protection of the weak, and service to god as they carried out their battles and crusades. The third point, however, is what we are most familiar with today.
This is the expansion of the code into court life where the knights were expected to respect and serve women. But not all women 0nly to Christian ladies of the court, i.e. noble women. The same way these courageous warriors were to protect the weak, they were meant to protect and serve women. In addition to their primary wartime purposes, of course.
Today
What does chivalry mean today? Apparently, now that we don’t have a defined knightly class to battle with swords and protect Christianity, it has expanded to mean that all men should follow it. But not the whole thing. Just the part about serving women.

And there’s nothing wrong with this. A manly man opening the car door or carrying a heavy load to help a feminine women out is a great and attractive thing. This at least resembles the traditional dynamic of a knight protecting and serving a medieval lady. But when you remove some key aspects of this dynamic, does it still apply?
If you take a bratty, drunk girl who’s whining and complaining to her man, does it still apply? What about a girl who is so committed to being on her own and free of dependency on any man that she always tries to order them around and flip the script? When a poor beta man rushes ahead of her to open the door, is that chivalry?
I think not. I think she just made him her bitch.

So is chivalry alive today? In the modern sense of a man protecting and serving women it certainly can be. The strong, confident alpha male who takes it upon himself to treat women as medieval ladies and take care of the manly tasks like carrying heavy bags or walking on the outside of the sidewalk to protect her is a shining example of chivalry in its true sense.
Unfortunately many modern men aren’t like this. They are weak and timid. When you combine this with a women who’s susceptible to taking advantage of such a man and the idea of chivalry, you have the makings of a disaster. A man like this going out of his way to serve all women is only going to further damage his sense of self worth. Rather than being her “knight in shining armour” he becomes something that more closely resembles a servant or a slave.
In the end, it all depends on the context. Chivalry only applied to the knightly class in medieval times. Today, it’s become something that all men are encouraged to follow, whether alpha or beta. While it certainly is an attractive and acceptable behaviour of the alpha, it only serves to further emasculate the beta.
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werewolf!chan
*cracks knuckles*
let’s fuckin do this
so
we’ve all been thinking about this
we’ve seen the fansite pics
the videos
the gifs
and that is
werewolf chan
okay look i’m gonna do a magic trick
i’m going to
read your mind
and your thoughts are
*inhales* OH NO HE’S HOTTTTT
reader i could not agree more
werewolf chan is a CONCEPT
he can be absolutely
what can i say
feral
BUT
he’s not like that in class
nahh he’s gotta make good impressions
but keep in mind you saw him human
and you had no idea who he was at the time
i mean it was the beginning of the school year so it made sense
but of course you wanted to talk to him!!
turns out he is such a cool guy??
the dude can compose music, sing, rap, AND dance
talk about a quadruple threat
and he’s so smart and sweet too? we love nerds in this household
“Wait so you have to account for both up and down?”
“Well yeah because otherwise the ball would be stuck in the air right? but it’s coming down so we need to account for it going up and down which means you multiply that value by two”
“Chan you should be a physics professor” ;-;
he LOVES his friends
all of them
from the shortest one to the hyper one to the pretty one to the drop it like its hot one to the godlike one to the snake one to the meme one to the baby one --
you get what i mean
and if he loves his friends
he loves you!
aksjdfksdjfkj but we don’t say it like that cuz that dOES SOMETHING TO YOUR HEART
he’s also psychic
oops that was random
we went
TALENTED!
SMART!
SWEET!
AND NOW
*drumroll*
P S Y C H I C
*silence*
*sad trombone ‘woh woh wohhhh’ sound*
okay so lemme explain
there were some hard times in the beginning of the year
like you didn’t expect it but things happen
for example you failed a really big test and it tanked your score
the worst part was that it was the easiest class you took so you thought you would get a relatively good score
but the future loves to fuck around doesn’t it?
you remember asking the teacher to go to the bathroom after she passed back the test
and you gave a smile and bright eyes
no sign of tears or shaking or breaking down
even though you felt like it
once you were out you just went to a bench really far and cried :(
and by crying i mean shaking and trying to keep quiet because you can’t disrupt class...
hhh here have a cookie
anyways weirdly enough chan came??
and like within five minutes
“Hey you need a hug”
and you didn’t reject or deny it
you felt safe in his arms and stayed there for around five to ten minutes
but something sort of bugged you
something... sus
just a tiny bit
“Chan...how did you know where to find me? or more importantly, how did you know i was feeling sad?”
he just smiled and brushed the hair out of your face
“You think you’re the only one who had to take a breather or two? The boys and I’ve done it too and you actually came to one of the common spots so i figured”
hmmm
yeah that’s pretty believable
but your favorite part of him would be his eyes
there’s so much life in them
the way he can convey excitement, mirth, and just love
you’d be lying if you didn’t stare at them at least once each day
one time you just couldn’t hold yourself back
“You have really pretty eyes”
and i oop -
he stared back tilting his head
“Oh?”
you started apologizing
“I’m sorry that was weird wasn’t it --”
but he took your hand and smiled
“You have a prettier smile”
aksdjfksdjfksdjfksdjfk
YOUR HEART
ITS HIS
of course you have to one up
“Your eyes were always the prettiest”
honestly there’s nothing wrong with him
he’s just the perfect man
ahh but every time you say that
he just... denies it
“nah there are better humans out there”
and you’re out here like
EXCUSE ME
WDYM BETTER HUMANS??
I ONLY LIKE YOU??
hey reader is this a confession
well it’s a good thing that was in your head be careful next time --
ANYWAYS
yeah he’s the best
it’s been four months since you’ve met him and you were naturally a part of his friend group now
but things started to take a turn
you knew chan got sick often
and that he would miss out on many classes
but it started happening even more
fuck his immunity system honestly
like each day you look forward to him coming
and then he sends you the same text he always does
“can’t make it today sorry :(”
hhhhhhhhh
you offered to take care of him
but he didn’t want it
you asked the others if they could do it
but they just stared at you and shook their heads
goddammit
you had to help him one way or the other >:((
so you take pics of your notes and send him
make him flash cards and stuff like that
other times you’ll just tell him the answers to the test but he just closes his ears because hE’S HONEST
mhm sure
yet each time he smiles and says thank you your heart grows bigger
because finally you could be of some help
and it’s your way of repaying him for all the times he’s been there for you
but
he was there for you physically
all the time
why couldn’t you do the same?
it came to a point where you had to confront him about it
and you were going to do it tonight
because everything is better at night
everyone’s a lil sleepy
and maybe you can get him to agree
because when people are tired they don’t necessarily hear everything but they’ll agree to it anyways hehe
little did you know it was the worst night to choose
two words reader
full moon
funny how something so beautiful can create something so monstrous
you remember knocking the door
“Chan? You alive?”
no response
you knock again
but then you think maybe he’s asleep
but rather than going back to your dorm
you turn the knob
and would you look at that
it’s unlocked
dang it chan you could get robbed like that
and then you saw the living room
it was a mess
posters torn
broken glass
coffee stains on the rug
what the hell
did he actually get robbed?
worried you head straight for his room
“Chan where are you?!” you called out
and there
in place of a curled up sick human
was a beast
with a pillow torn and stuck between its teeth
you stumble back
oh shit
oh fuck
oh gOD
it wasn’t just any beast
it was a wolf
A WOLF
IN THE COLLEGE DORMS
HOW THE FUCK --
someone call animal control
THIS IS ILLEGAL
and suddenly you knew
it ate chan didn’t it --
spoiler alert: no it did not
but you were too shocked to comprehend anything
instead you bolted out of the dorm
with the wolf chasing after you
you tripped over the uneven carpets and nearly died on the stairs down
and soon enough you were outside on the campus
huffing and panting
you didn’t know where to go honestly
you couldn’t risk going to any of the boys’ places because that would put them in danger
and can’t take any classrooms because they’re all locked
maybe the bathrooms? but they’re small so you could be cornered
you hear a howl from behind
FUCK
where to go where to go where to go --
wait where was the wolf
you turned around to check
welp that was a bad move on your part
because once you did
you fell on your back
scared for your life you let out a piercing scream
a scream that called out to the one person who could save you
“CHAN!”
but as usual
no response as expected
no one was going to save you
you start sobbing, trying to force the jaw biting at you away
you no longer cared about the cuts and bruises on your hands and arms
you just wanted chan
you just wanted him to know if he’s okay
accepting your fate, you took one more look at the beast
and froze
its eyes
they weren’t of a wolf’s
they were human
and that’s when you knew
it had been chan this whole time
he clawed at you again but this time you couldn’t bring yourself to fight back
you kept apologizing
“I’m sorry you had to keep this to yourself”
“I’m sorry you couldn’t trust me”
“I’m sorry you felt like you were a monster”
a part of you felt like you deserved to be hurt
to be even killed
because how could you have not seen it this whole time?
how could you have blindly believed that chan was perfectly fine?
he was suffering alone this whole time
and you never knew
but by divine grace
the clouds had rolled in
covering the full moon’s light
the feeling of fur turned to skin
and the sounds of growls turned to whimpers
“(Y-Y/N) --”
you felt drops fall onto your cheeks and you open your eyes
chan was crying
his black shirt was torn as was his heart
he hurt you
you weakly raise your hand
“Your eyes were always the prettiest”
you don’t remember the rest after that
mainly since you passed out from the pain
he took you to the hospital
explained that you were attacked
which was technically kind of true
luckily you healed up pretty quick
just a few scars but nothing too bad
but after that hell of a night the two of you didn’t talk for weeks
mostly on chan’s part
you wanted to talk to him
but he kept avoiding you
much more than he originally had when he tried to hide his secret from you
and if you were being honest, you did feel betrayed
he could read you like a book and knew you like the back of his hand
but you?
it’s as if everything you knew about him was just one big lie
and now he doesn’t want to talk to you at all
it hurt like hell
but you knew that he was scared
scared of you
scared of the others
and most of all
scared of himself
he was a monster
no matter how much he tried to push it back
and act normal
he would be anything but
but you never thought of him like that
he was a good person
he just couldn’t help his condition
and you loved him
of course he didn’t believe that
and so he stayed locked up in his dorm
and took the alternative of online classes
when you heard the news from woojin your heart sank
it meant your notes were no longer needed
after all he has everything he needs online
and it comes to a point where weeks turn into months
not a single ‘hi’ or ‘what’s up’ is said between you two
heck chan didn’t even sit with the others anymore
you started feeling hollow inside
it was as if something was ripped away from you
you slipped into a depression of sorts
nothing was really worth trying anymore
but you still wanted to
and the rest of the year passed by like that
then final exams came in
stressed doesn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling
and with no one to really rely on it was hard
like of course there are the boys and they are very sweet!!
you won’t deny that
but they had their education and stresses as well
and they don’t really
they don’t really know how to get to you the way chan did
so you sit there alone
the library is quiet but you can still hear the whispers among study groups
and you’d prefer to hear their struggles than handle yours
after all staring at a textbook that seems to be filled with blurred words and hazy images wasn’t really all that fun
you wipe your eyes for what seemed the seventh time again
you hated crying
and it doesn’t help when your thoughts linger back to chan
god you missed him
so so much
how could you have messed up so bad?
you just wanted to help
that’s all
you wanted to look out for him
be there for him
love him
but now it’s too late
as is everything else
you bury your head in your arms
feeling helpless
hopeless
any other words that start with ‘h’ and end with ‘less’ tbh
hm
hhhhhhless
same difference
but you feel someone take a spot next to you and they wrap their arms around you
you don’t flinch and just stay there
and the tears keep slipping down
but rather than finding out who it is
you doze off and fall asleep in their arms
you were too tired to comprehend emotions, to study, to just handle life
and that’s understandable
now
i think you have an idea of who was with you
care to take a guess?
that’s right
chan
now you might be thinking
“Oh NOW he comes when i’m asleep motherfucker doesn’t want to talk to me at ALL --”
well calm down because he’s about to do you a giant favor
he slowly unlatches himself from you
and takes a look at your notes
god they were so short
and scribbled like a mess
he remembered the times when you used to take long elaborate notes
not a single detailed missed
it was unlike you to be so careless
but upon looking at your tear-streaked face
he couldn’t help but feel guilty
this was his fault wasn’t it?
he put you here
and that fear of hurting you again?
it came true
just not in the way he expected
“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, taking out a pencil
“I should have known better,”
with that he took notes from the textbook you were using
it was the least he could do
later that day you woke up to a neat set of notes
they weren’t perfect
but they were enough
you see a small note scribbled in the corner
“After this is all done would you like to maybe meet at my dorm? if you don’t want to it’s okay, but i think we should resolve this” ~ channie
:00
channie?
like
your channie?
you felt like crying again
but bish save those tears for the test
you decided that this was the time to pull yourself together
this could be good! chan finally felt comfortable to talk to you
and then it dawned on you
chan was the one who hugged you an hour ago
holy --
you gently touched your waist where his arms previously were
how they kept you in place
how did you not realize?
aGAIN
you would have hugged back :(
but either way you knew you were going to see him again
which was a GIANT relief
now rejuvenated from the interaction you got yourself ready for the first test
LETS GO READER YOU CAN DO THIS
WHOOOOO
and you did!!
turns out all the tests you failed from before were actually to prepare you for the final tests which were way easier
like to the point of fault oml
finally it was the end of the week and you found yourself fidgeting in front of chan’s dorm
you knocked on it like you did before
but this time
you waited for the door to open
and open it did
“Hey”
“Hey”
yeji and me: HEY HEY HEY
don’t worry we weren’t there to blast icy in your ears
anyways
he tells you to come in
and the room looked far different from that night
still messy tho mind you
boi can’t take care of himself for shit
you took a seat on his bed
and demanded an explanation
well not demanded
more like wanted one secretly but never asked for it
HE’LL TELL YOU OKAY DON’T FORCE IT
and today is the day!!
the both of you are so nervous cuz it’s been MONTHS since you’ve talked
like i can practically feel the anxiety from y’all
BREATHE READER BREATHE
YOU TOO CHAN
“So i owe you an explanation”
“Yeah”
“Uhhh well, I’m a werewolf”
“Mhm I figured”
“Okay I’m sorry--”
and you let out a laugh
the first one you’ve had
IN MONTHS
sorry i’m gonna be saying months a lot cuz it’s!! a!! long!! time!!
you have to exaggerate those types of time intervals okay???
he smiles awkwardly and then explains how you were never able to catch him
“I take what you guys would call ‘medication’ to suppress my wolf side but it makes me weak and sometimes the dosage isn’t enough depending on the moon”
:00
medication?
“Wait wait wait are there other werewolves out there?”
“... so you know my friend group?”
no fucking way
NOT THEM TOO
I --
and then you’re bursting with questions
how come they’re werewolves but not sick like chan was???
and he has to explain that they were werewolves by birth
so they had been able to master controlling it over the years
but chan? he was bitten and turned
“Wait like a vampire?”
“I -- okay yeah basically like a vampire... I hate that though”
I mean
He’s pale
Was out for your blood
Could probably rock a victorian era aesthetic
THAT’S AN IMAGINE FOR LATER
he explains that they were all stray wolves kicked out of their packs
and while they knew each other
they didn’t unite until they found him suffering alone
that’s when they decided to be a pack of their own
three hours were spent just answering questions like these and banter
and you felt yourself becoming light with euphoria
here you were
talking to chan as if it were just yesterday you were hanging out with him
but actually it was too many months ago
okay i’ll stop now --
after three hours and all questions spent the two of you sat in silence
you didn’t know what to do
well you did
but was it the right time?
hmm
better now than never
“Chan, um, this is sudden but... I really like you... more than a friend”
ewwwww
so cliche
honestly I’d do worse tho so good job reader for making it this far
he stared at you, his mouth parting in shock
“Me? After all the things I’ve done to you?”
you nod
“You didn’t mean to hurt me and that’s what matters. And if you could support me for being me, why can’t I do the same?”
CHECK
FUCKIN
MATE
sorry chan reader gotchu
best to surrender now
but at the same time you were like
shit
was this not the time
and as if he read your mind
“You know I’ve liked you too... I was just too scared to admit it”
welp both of you are scared fucks congratulations
but now you can be scared together!!
okay that doesn’t sound nice
i am sorry ;-;
“... is it weird that I want to kiss you?”
one shock after the other i --
first the boys are werewolves, then he likes you, then he wants to kiss you, and --
you could only giggle in response and shake your head
“Not at all channie,”
you lean in
but chan being chan
panics and looks down at your lips
what if he was a bad kisser?
what if you were?
hmph rude
but then werewolf chan is rude whatchu gonna do
anyways
what if someone came in walking and --
tug
tug
that’s what he felt on the collar of his shirt
zoning back in he meets your eyes
and this time, there’s a glint in them
and a playful smile dances on your lips
“Don’t worry I don’t bite.”
#skz#stray kids#skz imagines#skz headcanons#stray kids imagines#stray kids headcanons#bulletpoint imagines#werewolf!chan#chan x reader#bang chan x reader#i put two puns in the last two bulletpoints LMFAO#i'm so smart#okay this is A LOT and not edited so sorry about that ;-;#but i had fun writing this!!!!!
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Teaching to RTFM
I think RTFM has its place. I know I’m not in the minority with this view, but it’s not exactly polite to talk about it. We have all started out on the other side of RTFM at some point, clueless and helpless, not knowing where to begin.
To be quite honest, I wasn’t told to RTFM that much, because I learned to program from books when I was 12, and I wished I could ask somebody for guidance. My father still knew BASIC from the late 70s and early 80s, and my teachers knew enough PASCAL to pass their own exams and then teach children how to use Microsoft Excel. There was nobody to turn to.
When I started learning Java from a book, I was very confused, and I learned many bad habits, idiosyncrasies of the book’s author that I stuck with because I didn’t understand what they meant. Then I bought a bigger, heavier book about Java, and I slowly learned to program. I learned programming in general and Java in particular at the same time. One textbook explained what classes in Java do, but not why you would use them, and the other textbook vacillated between treating OOP as a scary newfangled concept nobody understands but everybody has to use because of Java, and something you have to be familiar with already because the book assumed you already knew C, C++, BASIC and smalltalk.
I read the manual and I didn’t understand. What finally got me to understand OOP was ironically learning and reading code in Python. Unlike in Java and smalltalk, OOP in Python is optional. Although everything in Python is an object, the common Pythonic programming style is procedural, with OOP constructs used sparingly when they make sense. This finally let me understand what OOP is good for. No amount of contrived examples like “class PickUpTruck extends Car { ... }“ helped me understand OOP in Java.
The same thing can happen with classes, module systems, macros, build systems, version control systems, bug trackers, databases, and visual modelling languages like UML and FMC. They are all paradigms or technologies to manage complexity, and if I give a student a toy teaching example of a SQL database, multi-module program, or UML diagram, then the student will be confused rather than enlightened. If the complexity is missing from the example, then the benefit of using complexity-mitigating technology is not obvious.
That even goes for comments! What good are comments in a textbook example, with explanatory text already left and right of the code listing?
If I had a teacher who could explain OOP to me, things would have been so much easier. Eventually, I managed to learn what I needed to learn. Some things are much, much harder to learn if you can’t ask a teacher multiple clarificatory question in quick succession. It would be even better if your teacher asked you a couple of questions to drill down on which part you didn’t understand.
Nowadays, I see many questions on Discord, IRC, and forums from people who are just starting out learning to program. It’s a vast difference between learning Unity3D when you are already a programmer who shipped software in C++ and wrote games in Java, and learning programming, C#, game design, level design, shaders, 3D modelling, and the Unity3D Engine in one go.
If somebody asks a confused question online, the first order of business is to establish whether they are an expert or a confused beginner. That can sound confusing and condescending, but I often fear if I give a straight answer to a confused question, I do more harm than good.
When somebody asks “How do I iterate over the pixels in a pygame surface?“, I can give the straight answer, or three advanced answers with different performance characteristics. You probably want to use numPy and cache the results during level loading. Maybe you can also use numPy if it’s only an occasional thing, and you can stomach the dozens of megabytes of native code dependencies. You probably want to use OpenGL with a GLSL fragment shader if you do the thing every frame. If perchance you want to do palette-swaps only, then you can use the pygame palette handing functions rather than iterating over pixels and doing a dict look-up each time. Iterating over all the pixels in a pygame surface is slow. You can probably get away with it on a 16x16 sprite, but not on a 1920x1080 screenshot.
That’s not even the worst of it! I see confused questions by people who think they found a bug in a library/framework/engine, but actually they just don’t understand their own code, or they don’t understand the programming language. I see confused questions by people who don’t know what problem they are actually encountering, who don’t know what to Google.
These people don’t need to be told to RTFM. Either they already read the manual, but they don’t understand it, or they don’t even know which manual, or what to look for. They can’t be told to RTFM, but they can’t be given straight answers either. The best thing you can do is to ask “You’re new to this, aren’t you?“ and point them to a more basic tutorial. Or, if your time is worthless, you can decide to tutor them one-on-one over the Internet.
All these problems can combine into the worst possible scenario: Somebody asks on StackOverflow/IRC/the mailing list/Slack/Discord, because their teacher is not available, or told them to learn to RTFM and figure it out independently. These people can be high school students too intimidated by their teachers to ask questions, university students who can’t be bothered to attend lectures or wait for office hours, or junior programmers who are trying to impress their boss.
Figuring things out is a useful skill to have, but it’s not something you should rely on in a high school class. If you’re a teacher, don’t punish students for asking questions! And don’t expect students to bother strangers on the Internet to do your job for you. The best thing you can do to get students to RTFM is to answer their questions when they get stuck, so they get a good idea of what to look for, which terms to search for, what to ask on IRC.
If you want to teach your pupils to RTFM, you should at least follow up with them and point them in the right direction in case they get stuck trying to look up the answer, or if they don’t understand the text in the manual. Of course you can assign reading, but for some reason, some of your pupils will take this to mean that you refuse to explain the topic, so the only recourse is to ask strangers online.
And then the student comes back next week and asks even more confused questions, now that the next assignment is due, impossible to complete without having understood last week’s topic.
Around a third of confused newbie questions I see are from students who would rather not ask their teachers, not even those who post whole homework assignments.
Some people want us to stop saying RTFM online, ever. They also want us to stop saying “You’re new to this, aren’t you?“ or “Please take a step back and think about what you are trying to accomplish with this“. They all are too condescending. I’m not just trying to shift the blame away from open source projects and programmer online communities. Confused online questions sometimes have offline causes. These causes cannot be hyperlinked, retroactively screenshotted, and posted to twitter.
For all the talk of rudeness online, many students would rather ask questions here than at school. Maybe the problem lies in the classroom.
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Question for pro-choicers cont
*previous post inserted since the poster has apparently blocked me from reposting. Or maybe tumblr is acting up again….*
pro-abortion-rights
You claim that abortion is murder and, in the same breath, that you intend no moral judgment about the intentionally cherry-picked most repugnant of the reasons people commit murder. How convincing! The joke is that you have the exact same moral hierarchy since you too believe that bodily autonomy may be exercised for bigoted reasons.
Imagine not understanding the concept of “for the sake of argument.”Pro-choicers don’t actually concede the point on fetal personhood, they assume it for the sake of argument with anti-abortionists because it doesn’t actually matter either way. It’s an argumentative tactic, not a concession, but keep imagining you’ve scored the point if it helps you feel better.
Lethal self-defense may be used to prevent death or great bodily harm. You want to talk about great bodily harm? I have a four-inch scar across my lower abdomen from a C-section to deliver the three-year-old that’s playing next to me right now. Earlier in my pregnancy I had a brief cancer scare whose treatment I was going to put off until after birth to avoid harming the fetus. And mine was a HEALTHY pregnancy–I was lucky enough that it wasn’t cancer, and I had no more than the “normal” symptoms in pregnancy. I worked out every day, climbing 15 flights of steps. I still had to write much of my Ph.D. thesis in bed because sitting up was so hard and when my due date came I was in labor for three days, feeling like I was being ground under a wheel the whole time, and in the end I had to get an emergency C-section. I had a hard time moving for weeks. And this was with all the latest technology available.
Great bodily harm? You bet your ass, son. I took on all of this willingly because I wanted a baby with all my heart and that was the only reason I could bear it. Forcing ANY of the above on someone who doesn’t want it when it can be safely prevented is fucking monstrous. “Imagined peril?” Yeah, right. I’m sure I’m imagining my entire pregnancy and birth and the kid. And mine was, again, a healthy pregnancy where almost everything went well and I had access to the best medical technology and humane medical care. No one can tell when something is going to go wrong in pregnancy and childbirth, and even if nothing goes “wrong” it is significantly taxing and injurious on the body.
Hmm soooo your analogy of abortion to putting a gun to someone’s head is total bullshit and you’re not okay with pregnant people changing or otherwise impacting their OWN bodies in order to end their pregnancies, either? So now you’re resorting to the intent to end the fetus’s life instead of the specific method used. Even if the primary intent is to end the pregnancy and the fetus’s death is a corollary to that, much like the person who refuses a blood or bone marrow donation, right? Does your back hurt to carry around the goalposts like that?
No, the people who use desperate and injurious means to try and end their pregnancies are distraught because people like you denied them a safe and dignified abortion. I’ve noticed before that anti-abortionists think women (while keeping the caveat that not all people who can get pregnant are women, not that most of your crowd admits it) have to be literally crazy not to want to have a baby and you’re sure that if we just knew the truth we wouldn’t do it. Nope, some of us just don’t want to have a baby, because some people with uteruses don’t! Get that through your head lol.
Also, self-defense doesn’t require the fetus be at blame in order to be justified, and here is where your fallacious and disingenuous conflation of conceding personhood for the sake of argument and actually conceding personhood does actual harm. We know, like anyone with the most basic understanding of the world knows, that the fetus does not mean harm and cannot mean to do anything. Their lack of intent does nothing to lessen the actual harm of pregnancy, however, because intent does not equal impact.
Also your coward’s way to wriggle out of the politically inexpedient specter of forcibly hospitalizing and jailing abortion clients is to infantilize and condescend to women instead of demonizing us. Lmaooooo because that’s so much humanizing. Not. This is what it looks like when you don’t have the strength of your own conviction and resort to sexism instead. Too bad, because your fellow “pro-lifers” are indeed jailing women for miscarriages and suicide attempts (link). I’m sure you’re upset by that because these women are just victims, right? Nah you’re not, you’re just out there electing the people who do this, who cut public support for women and babies (CPCs don’t count lmao like abortion scaremongering, diapers, and useless ultrasounds done by unlicensed personnel are enough support to have and raise a baby?? [link]), who make life precarious for families so fewer people will WANT to have babies, and making sure more women will be injured and die from unsafe abortions. Mission accomplished!
“The joke is that you have the exact same moral hierarchy since you too believe that bodily autonomy may be exercised for bigoted reasons.”
And you got this from my post….how exactly? No seriously, explain this.
“Pro-choicers don’t actually concede the point on fetal personhood, they assume it for the sake of argument with anti-abortionists because it doesn’t actually matter either way. It’s an argumentative tactic, not a concession, but keep imagining you’ve scored the point if it helps you feel better.”
Well since I’ve heard members of your group state outright that they know and accept (with no handy little “for argument’s sake” caveats included mind you) the unborn child is a person, etc, would kind of undermine that notion. Unless you’re now saying you’re lying. And of course, for your whole argument of self-defense to fly, they must be persons/actors as well to defend yourself against… But sure, backpedal if it helps you feel better.
32 hour labor, followed by C-section as well, followed by infection and adhesions here. High five, sister. Yet I remind you, that your entire argument for self-defense involves criminalizing an unborn child. A child that had no say in being where it was or what is happening to it. A natural, biological process. The vast majority of which were placed there consensually. I know you always like to go to the extreme cases of rape, incest, medical emergencies etc to make your point, but those are a minuscule fraction of abortion cases. I’m sorry, you do not get to say, “oops, I didn’t mean that to happen” and then use that, with the natural results of said actions to kill another person. No. You don’t. That is sick and perverse. A life is in your hands because of your own choices. You DO NOT have the right to kill it because you don’t like the consequences. Does that mean discomfort, yes. Does that even mean a chance of medical complications like we both faced? Yes. Life is hard. It means having to deal with the results of your actions, even when those involve pain and discomfort. I don’t get to murder someone because there is a chance I might break my leg. I’m sorry, I do not see murder—and I maintain it is murder, not self defense—as a viable option. The fact you do, I find disturbing.
“Hmm soooo your analogy of abortion to putting a gun to someone’s head is total bullshit and you’re not okay with pregnant people changing or otherwise impacting their OWN bodies in order to end their pregnancies, either? So now you’re resorting to the intent to end the fetus’s life instead of the specific method used. Even if the primary intent is to end the pregnancy and the fetus’s death is a corollary to that, much like the person who refuses a blood or bone marrow donation, right? Does your back hurt to carry around the goalposts like that?”
I’m not okay with people taking actions to deliberately end their unborn child’s life. No. The specific method never mattered, only the outcome and intent. I don’t see how I ever gave you reason to think I believed otherwise. Where did I do so? My goalposts have never moved. Every example you gave was a deliberate attempt to kill their child. It’s no different than whether someone chooses to burn or drown their child after birth. The child ends up dead both ways, the means is secondary. I honestly don’t understand the reasoning behind most of this paragraph. “if the primary intent is to end the pregnancy and the fetus’s death is a corollary to that” Ummm, if the primary intent is to end the pregnancy…that is literally the same thing as killing the fetus, not a corollary. By definition. Did you miss-type this?
Unless you mean re: the gun analogy. Okay then if so. No, I do not think refusing a blood/marrow transfusion is the same as actively killing another life. Is there a fine distinction? Absolutely. Lack of action vs deliberate action. Ethics is hard, like life. There are grey areas. Do I believe a person, capable of providing blood or marrow to help another person, should do so if they can? Absolutely. I’m listed as an organ donor, was a blood donor for years, and was recently tested to see if I could donate a kidney. Do I feel the state has the right to force that? No. That is not the same as, “I don’t want the discomfort and difficulty this other life might bring me, because of actions I took, therefore I will make a conscious decision to end its life rather than deal with the known, understood consequences.”
“No, the people who use desperate and injurious means to try and end their pregnancies are distraught because people like you denied them a safe and dignified abortion.”
“A safe and dignified abortion.” Wow. Just...wow. When you reach for the moon, you really go for it! And no. You don’t get to pawn other people’s bad decisions, born of a whole spectrum of backstories and circumstances, onto the pro-life crowd. That’s intellectually dishonest and you know it. Their reasons are legion. And I sincerely doubt any of those underlying issues would be solved by abortion. Please, can your brush get any broader before you need a crane to lift it?
“Nope, some of us just don’t want to have a baby, because some people with uteruses don’t! Get that through your head lol.”
Then…simple solution… Don’t take action that can result in the creation of another life. Get that through your head lol.
“Also, self-defense doesn’t require the fetus be at blame in order to be justified… Their lack of intent does nothing to lessen the actual harm of pregnancy, however, because intent does not equal impact.”
I see. So it gets to die because you were…scared/etc? It’s not to blame, but you don’t like the consequences, so yup, it has to die. Yes. That sounds so much better. “intent does not equal impact.” When your intent ends with another life’s ending, that’s a very real impact and a very real harm. But that’s okay here because...you want it to be? Who needs the self-defense argument more, I wonder? The mother or the child? Seems like the only rule here is the argument from power. Where the person with power gets to determine what is right. That’s a scary hill to take your stand on.
“Also your coward’s way to wriggle out of the politically inexpedient specter of forcibly hospitalizing and jailing abortion clients is to infantilize and condescend to women instead of demonizing us. Lmaooooo because that’s so much humanizing. Not.”
Coming from someone whose position is to, in essence, demonize and dehumanize unborn children in order to justify killing them for the sake of your own convenience like every genocidal advocate ever, this rings a little hollow. Especially with the body count you’ve racked up so far. Nice straw man though.
And wow, one cherry-picked account of a terrible miscarriage of justice and a CA law to crack down on centers providing help and alternatives to abortion (though I do concede that using misleading, and deliberate lies to ‘fight the good fight’ is wrong, and any center that does it—“half” according to that article--should stop immediately.) Wow, you got me there! /end sarcasm
Yes, we’re people too, who also make mistakes, and we form a huge spectrum of views of what is acceptable and what is not in this cause, just like your side does. If I cared to enter the mines, you know very well I could come up with plenty of counter cherry-picked examples from your camp. Women being lied to about their pregnant state, their options, the nature of their pregnancy and the very real medical risks of abortion, deliberately pushing abortions for monetary gain, husbands/boyfriends/parents forcing them to have abortions, and so on. Do I need to do so, or do you have the intellectual honestly to admit those happen too?
Sexism? Oh please. At least be original with your slogans.
But if you want to compare notes, only one of our sides is responsible for supporting and enabling 45.7 million dead babies between 1970 and 2015 in the US alone. The body count is clearly in your favor. And I know you can’t possibly be so naïve as to think diapers or those crisis centers are all the pro-life movement do. Or do I really need to link to the lists of many many many other programs and help made possible by our side? And what do you put your money to anyways? Oh yeah, pink pussy hats and placards. One side promotes and encourages life, one side promotes murder and death and spreads known lies about the “millions of babies killed in back-alley abortions!” (see https://www.hli.org/resources/doesnt-legal-abortion-save-women-filthy-back-alley-abortion-mills/ ) See! I can use hyperbole and innuendo too! :D
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~#26: Shira Speaks~
DESERT MEMOIRS PART III
Friends, This is the 3rd installment of my Keshet Writings.
I believe I met a goddess walking among us. I was preparing to inhabit my studio space after a long developmental workshop (regarding working within institutions to create touring opportunities) and Keshet founder Shira Greenberg sat next to me.

I had burning questions from my place of intense processing, and was peppering Shira with each one. After many beseeching looks and a certain amount of interpretive hand dancing to illustrate the strength of my feelings, she observed that these questions were important to me and consented to allow me to record the conversation. I transcribe it for you faithfully here:
CELINE: Will you introduce yourself and what you’re working on and also, of course, obviously, what inspires you??? And also what you think that, you know, whole point, of this , you know thing, is, really?
SHIRA: Yeah sure. I’m Shira Greenberg, the Founder and Artistic Director of Keshet. Keshet is the space that we’re in, and it exists to inspire and unite community by fostering unlimited possibilities through dance, mentorship and a creative space for the arts
CELINE: How did you get people to take you seriously? When you were first starting out, I mean?
SHIRA: I just had to have a really thick skin and keep doing things. And sometimes cry.
I had to keep learning. I was always like, “oh, I have to make a one-sheeter” and sometimes I would make them and say, “oops, that’s embarrassing,” but you have to keep making them and trying things.
And also I didn’t really have anything else I wanted to do. there was all this, “you should have a back-up plan if your dream doesn’t work,” because it was very much a dream. It wasn’t a practical, “I’ll be a surgeon” kind of a plan. So there was that concept of “what’s your back-up plan?” and I was like, I dont have one, this is it. This is my plan, this is what I like, this is what I’m going to do.” And so I think that actually was a key element. Because there were plenty of times where it would have been very easy to take the back-up plan, because the process has not been smooth, but it has certainly been adventurous, and interesting, and I would never not want to be doing what I’m doing.
I think just not stopping is how people have taken me seriously. But it takes… you know we’ve had some pretty significant failures. But …. we did survive it, so perseverance is how people have taken me seriously, because now I can say, “we’ve been doing this for 23 years.”
So, gray hair has been helpful. You know, people are like, “how come you don’t dye your hair” and I’m like, “I fucking earned this gray,” I have spent a lot of time with people patting me on the head, like you know, “Oh, little dancey girl, that’s nice. You’re going to make a little thing? A little dancey thing??” and I’m like, [snorts]. There’s a lot of condescending, a lot of stupid things, and you just do it.
CELINE: So, do you have any advice for withstanding the soul-crushing condescension?
SHIRA: Loving what you do. Because it doesn’t matter what anybody else says. They are not the ones who are in your day-to-day life, and if they are, you should move away from them. Just not engage with that.
So I don’t know. It’s a tricky, never ending little thing, to [balance]. But I think, how do you persevere? I don’t know. You just decide how much you are willing to take and how much what your particular goal is worth for you. And for me, my barometer has been, “is this bringing me joy and passion? Is this something I love to do every day? Is this something I want to get up and do every day?”
And if the answer is ever no, then I reassess it. On the parts where it has been really intense and bad and hard. There’ve been times where I’m like, “Okay, well I did it for a while, like, this has been great, do I want to do something else, I could do something else.” and then I think about it, I think through it for a long time, and then I decide if that’s what I want to do or not. So far the answer has never come up that I don’t want to do it, but the comfort in knowing that I could decide that, whenever I feel like it, is really great.
CELINE: I’ve been blessed with so many partnerships this year, but also so many things have fallen apart. My collaboration with Jü Fine Brandy looked like it would be ideal, but they told me that they wanted to support my work and nodded to many of my requests and then expected me to fulfill their vision, they were so surprised that I was different and didn’t even give me an opportunity to explain in a way they could understand. They were rather cruel, actually. They sent me footage that we shot of my vision and they were trash talking me the entire time. They decided that I was a bad investment before I even walked onto the set.
SHIRA: Which I think is the World, other people are going to decide for you on plenty of things.
CELINE: Well?? Has that been your experience?? Because you do seem to know the game, even know that there is a game, which I… I see there must be a game now, but it is so foolish, so unfair, and so petty. With my work I try to call on each audience member to divest from the game, industry, and remember where we come from, nature, but in order to make work, I must take on the industrial, when it feels so heavy, so toxic, so abhorrent.
SHIRA: I think it depends on the situation. There have been plenty of things that we have been cut from or don’t have, or don’t have access to and I think that, we just do a lot of creative problem solving. I think that’s what we do on a regular basis, is just creatively problem solve things. There’s always problems, there’s always a mess, it’s just how you approach it.It’s not a bad mess, it’s just life, right? That’s how business works, that’s how art works, that’s how relationships work, it’s just, things happen, — things don’t go from A to B to C to D, they’re all jumbled up, and so, I think that’s just what, organizationally we’re really good at.. I’m not sure where that came from — maybe it came from moving [back and forth between the US and Israel when I was young and forming my] understanding of how you navigate different cultures, different situations, maybe it comes from being around politics and watching that happen.
It also for sure comes from being a choreographer — how you navigate different types of bodies and how do you solve that and how do you solve, like “we have a show, and we’re going to a space that they said was this size and it’s not that size.” I actually really like that, I enjoy puzzles, and I enjoy fixing problems, and understanding what the problem is, and that gets me jazzed. So for some people, that’s exhausting and that’s frustrating, and I actually really love it. So I think that’s probably a big reason why the persevering part worked for me, that would maybe be the advice — if you don’t like problems, and addressing things that don’t work, then this probably is not the right business or endeavor to go into because that is what it is.
Sometimes there are moments like, “good Lord. That’s enough, that’s enough already.” So for me things that, for many people, feel like something didn’t work, for me actually feels like its working. I just...usually the things that aren’t working are what lead you to the things that do work, right? And I actually take those as the signs, that like, “op, wrong direction,” or like “o-oh wall,” it just kind of bounces me into the right spaces. Rather than being like, “it’s a wall, I’m done.” For me it’s a bounce.
CELINE: So it’s not like when you hit a blockage, you do not experience it, I mean to say, you don’t see it as like, the universe telling you, “that was a bad move.”
SHIRA: No. So here’s a really large example. [After years of work ,] We get our first million dollar grant, to go towards [a permanent building for Keshet], and then there’s this issue with the contract for that grant and the construction site, which resulted in a choice - either stick with our chosen site which we had invested a lot of time and money into, and say no thank you to the million dollar grant; or find another site quickly, and scrap all of previous design plans, yet have that million dollars to actually move towards our goal of having a permanent home .... I went and sat in the dirt, where we were supposed to build and sobbed in my car, and then I was like…”Get it together [slaps each side of her face] Greenberg!” [we laugh] and got back in my car, drove back to Keshet, and went on Craigslist, and found this building in like, ten minutes. And this is by far the best possible version of a home for us. So, had I stopped at any one of the many walls along the way, it would have never happened. So the point is, yeah, there’s challenging and sometimes terrible things that go on, but if you stop at them, then that’s your stopping point versus if you keep using them to bounce you to the next thing.
CELINE: But... I am sensing the perseverance, and I’m perceiving this grace and acceptance through difficulty and your commitment to the Universe, the void, always being on your side, and simply giving you indications to find a more suitable way forward instead of a sign to retreat or give in, and that is just so inspirational, but I’m also curious about how you remind yourself to stay committed to the attitude, you know? How do you stay standing in that place with the tides of failure and the naysaying and doubt sloshing around your ankles??
SHIRA: [...] Coping mechanisms. I don’t know, I just really love it. I really love what I’m doing. I like the adventure of it. I don’t like being financially in a bad place, like that wasn’t fun, but…
Truly the coping mechanism when I’m feeling crappy and awful is just that I have to come to Keshet and watch people. “Oh! Dance people! They’re smiling! Look at the kids, look at the parents, look at the staff, look at what it does. Or I have to run a Maker’s Space, where I see people come in, and have time together to work and to make, and to think. I just, that, it is my coping mechanism, just making space for things to happen.
#shiraspeaks#goddess#mentor#genius#inspiration#coping#justdoit#sloshingdoubt#tidesoffailure#naysaying#weshallovercome#ishallpersevere#strenth#gratituesday#artist#practice#thegame#winning#withgrace#thenature#theindustrial#desertmemoirs#keshet#beautifulkeshet#movedtomove
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